Feeling down... =(

Actually now at this very moment that I am jotting down my thoughts, I am very upset.. Feel terrible.. Was on the verge of tears & was holding back on the bus way home...

Following the blog i wrote this morning, is pretty obvious that am not feeling exactly that happy in my change of new job.. facing abit of a problem...

Met up with WX this evening for dinner and was looking forward to the dinner after a whole restless day.. Over dinner, mentioned that am feeling lost especially in the current proj that am in. Am not sure where am heading & feeling a little pressurised (mainly i stress myself) especially that i've to meet a certain no. of program that am doing.. am not confident at all when 1) time is running short, 2) not enough manpower, 3) no budget to play ard with, 4) partners arent that encouraging & 5) i've no idea what to program.. maybe all the above are just nothing but excuses that I came up myself to make myself feel better...

However, WX just came up with so many things that i can do (though now time is the limiting factor & of course finding the right partners)... He gave me alot of good ideas & suggestions & all the ideas just came flowing through in his head... which i am like "Wow.. thank you!"... am impressed...

On the other hand, I felt terrible... bcos why didnt i think of it? Havent I been in this line for long enough? Do I have nothing to give? I begining to feel am useless... ... *He was so enthusiatic that he didnt notice my sudden change in mood...*

Previously I used to think that perhaps am not given the chance to shine... but just now, i ponder: maybe others did give me the opportunity & i just have nothing to give or contribute...???

For the moment, I lost my self-confidence (or my very little self-confidence to start with...)...

am moody... feel like shutting myself away from others...