Saturday, May 28, 2005

Something to share with you..

I was clearing my email then I found this email from a friend and I thought I should share with you.. For those who are battling against a lost love, loneliness..
In a relationship, one of the hardest things to do is saying goodbye and letting go. It is as hard as breaking a crystal because you'll never know when you will be able to pick up the pieces again. More often than not, they who go feel not the pain of parting: it is they who stay behind that suffer, because they are left with memories of a love that was meant to be, a love that was.
At the beginning and at the end of a relationship, we are embarrassed to find ourselves alone. Unfair as it may seem, but that's the way love goes. That's the drama, the bittersweet and the risk of falling in love. After all, nothing is constant but change. Everything will eventually come to its end without us knowing when, without us knowing how, without us even knowing why. And we must forget not because we want to but because we have to.
In letting go, sorrows come not as a single spy but in battalion. It seems that everywhere you go, everything you do, every song you hear, every turn of your head, every move of your body, every beat of your heart, every blink of your eye and every breath you take always reminds you of him. It's like a stab of a knife, a torture in the night. Funny how the whole world becomes depopulated when only one person is missing. Just imagine, there are billion people on earth and yet it seems you feel lonely and empty without the other.
I don't know if it's worth calling an art, but letting go entails special skills sparkled with a considerable space and time. Time heals all wounds but it takes a little push on our part. Acceptance plays a part. Not all love stories end with "...and they live happily ever after." Sometimes we have to part because of circumstances beyond our control. We have to suffer if it would mean happiness for others. We have to cry to temporarily let go of the pains. Every beginning has its end like every dawn has its dusk. It's something we can't control, something we had to live up.
It's over. He's/she's gone. But life has to go on. Goodbye doesn't always mean forever. There will always be a place and time where questions will be answered, words will be spoken, letters will be read, poems will be recited in the night, songs will be sung in harmony, love will be expressed in solitude and promises will be fulfilled. Somewhere. Somehow. Someday.
"Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go"

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

finally over...

well, finally the launch that i have been working on for the past months has come to an end yesterday... everyone seems happy and satisfied... good media coverage... bosses all happy (i think)...
But we the organisers know that there are hiccups, well, who cares... so long the important people see the beautiful side of it...
Anyway, am just tired... took afternoon off to send my brother off at airport.. He is going Ching Mai for 3 weeks to do community work and another 3 weeks at Laos for backpack.. Am so envy of him!! =( I wanna go too!! Seriously need a break, havent got a rest since i changed job..
Now can finally take some normal breaths before another closing ceremony in August... another 10 weeks of programmes... dreading...

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Complex Friendship

I used to think that everything is very simple cos I am a very simple girl. I believe that all are born good-natured. But as I grow older, I realised ideal and reality dont co-exist. Anything that involves the emotional side of a homosapien (man) becomes complex because man himself is a complex creature. How many of us know what we are after or really want?
Love relationship is complicating enough but now, I begin to feel friendship is complicating too. Or perhaps it is just me that is complex.. Maybe I dont trust this friend of mine enough and like I mentioned in previous blog, then it all becomes too draining..
I enjoy her company and encouraging words but when it comes to certain topics, I would become so sensitive of the things she said.. I know that she treats me like a close friend.. concern about me.. Am I losing faith in this friendship or have I been blinded?
Well, maybe because of the presence of just that 1 person, it makes this simple innocent friendship turn out to seem complicated. The relationship between the 3 of us is far too difficult for me to figure out.
End of the day, who knows, it might just boil down to ME making all these difficult for us (myself).

Monday, May 09, 2005

Words of Wisdom?

Had been quite busy & tired over the weekend.. Sat was up early for my tuition @ Sengkang though I was late but my student was kind enough to buy me lunch.. Ha! Probably to "bribe" me for less homework but still very grateful to her. She is a smart girl but lazy & needs abit of "pushing". I hope she would do well for her N level..
After which I met up with Xiu & we (or me rather) went to a fortune-teller @ Bencoolen Mall. It was just a small unit shared by 2 stalls. Went to listen what he had to say.. Not that I was supersitious but was curious.. But it all seems to turn out quite well.. He displayed his cards and started to explain...
1. Life - I'll have a good life in old age. Nothing to worry about. Oh, I should be very lucky this year & ought to buy some 4D. Ha, all thanks to my features (especially my nose!) and good palms.
2. Career - I'll be someone big in career. Should venture in some businesses related to water e.g. hair salon, floral shop, pub etc. But must change the position of my bed, if not, even if i climb high in ladder, i'll just fall. Thats why I spent the whole Sunday afternoon changing the layout of my room & cleaning up (phew!) Thought since I got nothing to depend on love, I might as well rely on my career.. =)
3. Health - Gotta take care of my gastric & eat on time.
4. Romance - This is the worst. He said that I don't really have defined romance lines, all are blurred. Guys in my life comes & goes like cloud.. I must be married by 27 (latest 29) & I'll have 2 boys. If not, it'll be late marriage & prob be someone's 2nd wife... Muahahaha.. oh, & preferably someone in dragon or snake year.. SO! Those with eligible guy friends of that age, better introduce to me if dont want moi to be left on the shelf eh? kekekee... Counting down... haha!
That's about all but if wanna know more details, can ask me lah... But I was laughing away the whole session...
And I was on retail therapy till 8pm.. Spent almost $300 in just an afternoon. Xiu was shocked & amazed for the 1st time she saw me shopping like this.. haha.. All started when I bought a DKNY watch that costs $150 - but I love it so much that I didnt even go around asking... Bought clothes - halter, denim mini skirt, 2 tube tops & a black skirt... Finally, set my eyes on a wallet.. ooh... frosty pink with butterflies!! So "girl-girl".. hahaha!
But I was happy although am supposed to be saving but cant be bothered much at that point, need to make myself happy!
And am still HAPPY though tired.. =D

Friday, May 06, 2005

Stressed Out

1st blog for the month - May
Been busy & wasnt in the right mood to write nor update anything...
stressed out @ work & life... I have managed to get my flyer to print JUST.. a load off my mind & 1 less thing to worry.. But that's not all...
I just went for an interview this morning. YUP! But dont think it'll fall through and anyway dont think I wanna to be in there with someone I dont fancy with working... I shall wait & see!
Anyway after 1 stressful day yesterday, I went for a reading session at The Book Cafe (martin road, near Gallery Hotel). The session was good and so is the cafe. Quite a nice cafe, cosy ambience, good for get-together. Though it is a little outta way, it is still a nice walk! Oh, I bought a book as well "The Breakup Diaries" by 1 of the writers. It caught my attention when the author started reading.. "Am so gonna get THAT book!"
Was with V initially but she left halfway cos 1 of her frens just broke-up & was drinking alone @ clarke quay.. That leaves me there alone & I SURVIVED... I ate alone in the cafe but I was on the phone with my good fren, J. Had a gd chat with her & felt almost that am the person on the other end, reminding myself of the current situation... OH WELL~ Anyway am giving myself all the worst scenarios & outcomes...
Looking @ myself & J, I wonder if anyone were to choose, is being single more carefree or is being attached more blissful? Either one, there is forever so many problems.. Hard choice but quoting C "You decide your own happiness"..