new work place...

when was my last entry for this blog? must be ages ago for i nearly forgot my password for my sign-in.

i have never feel this bad whenever i start the new job... this is probably the worst out of the 3 times. i am serious... I have always think that i have no problem breaking ice with strangers or colleagues... why does it feel so difficult this time?

on my first day of work, i felt abandoned cos colleague just left me alone in the IT dept to get my laptop & the rest just left for lunch. My first lunch @ work is to eat starbuck sandwich alone. i tried inviting myself to their lunch but how many times can i invite myself to their lunch? sometimes they just go off secretly... besides the weekend, PH and 2-day course, today is the 5th time that i eat alone at lunch within the 2 weeks.

i cant seem to join in in any part of the conversation. is that as good as being dumb? whatever activities they have, they dont ask me so i cant possibly gatecrash right? at this rate, i think i am suffering from depression soon...