the rainbow after rain

the sky has been raining every morning since the fateful sunday. it seems that it felt my heart pain and the sorrow i am going through and weeping together with me. i told myself that the day when the sky is bright and sunny, it is the day that i will be better because that is when the rainbow will appear.

i cry and cry, hoping that the tears will wash away my memories of you, wash away my pain that you inflicted upon me. i cry myself to sleep together with coco - the only comfort i have now on the queen size bed, knowing you sleeping with her on our bed, on my side of the bed.

today is your birthday and i can do it is to wish you happy birthday in my heart and to god. you have made your choice to spend it with her. in fact, you made your choice long ago. the moment you packed me away, packed our memories away, decided to look for her in may, went to krabi with her, brought her back home, let her to sleep on my bed and let her be your female passenger seat. basically took over my position in your heart.

all the promises you made before you went on your "self journey" trip are all emptied. it no longer hold anymore. my hope and love for you dashed to powder when you decided to walk the path you chose now. Afterall there is so much love i can give.

i know no one can help me. i pray to god that if you really love her, i pray that she loves you as much as i do. i will pain but i also know god will take this pain away from me.

~happy birthday, dearz dearz~